Another Friday

I left work after lunch today to take a well needed rest and I am sitting here staring blankly at my laptop screen. I just listened to that great song "Shattered" by O.A.R. and it left me with so many mixed emotions that I am still trying to sort out.

I am still pondering about that tragic flight and its fate is becoming more elusive by the day as the debris pulled out of the sea did not belong to AF447. I don't know why I am so affected by it, when other tragedies happen all the time. I keep hoping ... just hoping that maybe they landed in an island, you know, like the show "LOST" . Wishful thinking as miracles don't happen... But I can dream

Air France Crash

It has been a couple of days and still nothing ... no explanations on why that plane crashed, just uncertainty and loss. I guess we most likely will never know. This has brought long flashbacks to me ... back to a few years ago in the same place. We left Rio de Janeiro very late as they appeared to have issues with the front of the plane but yet Varig cleared the plane to fly and there we went. I was in the washroom when the pilot informed us that we were having mechanical problems and we needed to turn back immediately. Those were terrifying moments as we had no idea if we were going to land ok or not. I will always remember one of my friends holding that elderly lady's hand so tight whom she didn't even know and praying with her while another was sleeping completely oblivious of the crisis. I will always remember the red flashes from the fire engines and ambulances lighting up the night as people were trying to stay calm. Anyway we landed ... a little bumpy but landed and we spent another day in that gorgeous city.
I pray deep in my heart that those poor souls had no time to realize what was happening to them. I find it harder and harder day after day to believe in a creator. I just wish I could find the faith that is so badly eluding me each moment of my day.

A Loss

I never had to deal wih a loss before. Of course I did lose my grand parents but I was so young. It is hard to remember the emotions that coursed through me then, although I recall being unable to cry for a long time.
Our beautiful Persian died last week and life has changed. People grief in different many ways. Some mourn for a little while, then rejoice as they consider death a part of living that continues on. Others, like myself, cannot handle the grief and sink into darkness.

I have cried for Maya for over a week and the grief has been so hard to bear. Sometimes I could swear I hear her on the sink calling for the faucet to be turned on. I know that I am not mourning for her only, I have lost Love and for that I will never be the same. But as my very dear friend said, one has to let go and if it is meant it will happen.

I went to pick up Maya's ashes yesterday and while it was extremely difficult for me, I felt joy as I saw how many people had loved her, from the techs to the vet. In her little short life, my baby girl touched so many people. This should be a lesson to me.... a very valuable lesson.

Today Historical Day

The Unites States has elected its first African-American President. What a landslide! An African-American President... something to be so proud of, the United States has gone a long way. Today depicts a desillusioned nation so tired of its present administration and completely ready to make changes.

Will there be a drastic change? Time will tell but I feel sorry for our new Commander in Chief. He has a lot to clean up but above all he must restore trust in this country again and this alone seems unsurmountable.
One thing that has always irked me is the biracial subject. Why do we consider him African-American when he is as much white? Why don't they address Obama as a biracial president. Why does one ethnicity takes precedent to the other when there is a 50% equality? I am still trying to wrap this one around my brain and no one has been able to explain it to me.
Everyone is celebrating such a milestone today and yet there is still a flipside to the story. One could embrace the tolerance but yet 50+ if not many more Millions of Americans are treated like second class citizens and discriminated against. Many propositions in this country backed by the Church appear to be passing and are stripping our citizens of the most basic right ... the right to marry and to adopt children.
I am not a proponent of marriage, but I strongly believe every individual should have the same rights, regardless of their race, gender, and sexual identity. Each individual in this country should have the right to marry should they choose to exercise the right or not. WHO has the right to discrminate against anyone?


Arizona Proposition no. 102 - Ban on Gay marriage - PASSED
Arkansas Intitiative 1 - Ban on Gay Couples adopting children - PASSED
Florida Amendment 2 - Ban on Gay marriage - PASSED
California Proposition 8 - Ban of gay marriage - PASSING


This is a really sad day for tolerance. Most of those propositions were backed by various churches, predominantly the Church of the Latter Saints (Mormons)and the Catholic Church. Since when does the Church has the right to get involved in politics? If they are going to do that, then they should be stripped of their non-profit status and start paying taxes like each one of us. This is sickening!
Like those African-American church folks raising money to give to those propositions.
Did time pass so fast that they forgot when they could not drink from the same water fountain as white people ... Did they forget all the discrimination that happened and is still happening today?
Just because today we have a biracial president doesn't mean that racism doesn't exist anymore. If one wants us to believe that ... who are they fooling?
Ok I get down my soap box and I bid good night. Today left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. Last tuesday I laid in the hospital hooked up to monitors, oxygen up my nose and fluids coursing through my veins, thinking of my future and today one week later to the day, I lay here desillusioned about the human race. Oh Well...

Mexico

Everything seems to bring me to Mexico lately. I love the country, Guadalajara is one my favorite cities in the world and I am so glad that my job brings me there.

I was given a staff last week and it happens that they are located in Guadalajara. Therefore I will have to manage them remotely and fly down once a month. Although most of them speak decent english, I must become fluent in Spanish in the next few months. So they got me "Rosetta Stone" and I am on my way to master another language. I love downtown Guadalajara with its Spanish style buildings, its old churches that fill me with so many wonderful memories and the old ornate gazebo standing in the center of the plaza. I cannot wait to return.



Guadalajara is considered the birthplace of the Mariachi, although one can trace the originals to Cocula about 40 miles away. As I love Mariachi and Ranchera singers I always wanted to go to the Mariachi festival there but I missed it this year as it took place at the beginning of September. But I was lucky enough to live in a city that holds the second biggest Mariachi festival, San Jose.

The event lasts for the whole month and pretty much ends at the end of September with a large concert.I never miss it and this year was a tribute to women in Mariachi music, three in particular Lola Beltran, Lucha Reyes and Amalia Mendoza. While those legends are long gone, three contemporary women took their place, Linda Ronstadt, who is also the artistic director for the festival, Aida Cuevas, a world famous ranchera singer, and my most favorite of all Lila Downs, who has one most incredible voices in the world. The concert lasted four hours and was phenomenal.

Crazy Markets

It has been quite a week. The markets have gone crazy, The financial crisis is at its worse since the depression of 1929 and now we have the government wanting to bail out investment companies with our-hard earned tax money. What is wrong with ths picture? Wait a minute I never signed up for this!

Investing in the stock market and any other investment instruments has always been for speculation and was never a sure bet. Pleople do know the risks they take when they invest. If you cannot take the heat get out of the kitchen!

Money markets used to be viewed as secure investments and they used to be, but one must remember that is is still investing and are in no way a savings accounts.The largest money market in the world Reserve Funds with 65 Billions in assets "broke the buck" this week and that is very scary. People got scared because they had 1.2% of Lehman Brothers securities and they received redemption orders amount to 60 billions. If they reimburse all those investors at the same time, there is no way that they can provide full NAV $1 and NAV $.97 as they will have to sell all their lots at a loss, so now everyone is going to have to wait in line as they just filed for an extension with the SEC for settlement of unfulfilled redemptions in addition to the seven days they were already allowed.

Of course, get this, the minimum investment requirement for those fundsi s $10M, so guess who the government is helping bail out? you and me or the big corporations?
Here we go again!!!

Anyway once again this has been a crazy week, my project is coming to an end after 3 months next week. A new one will be starting and I cannot wait. Like my friend tells me it is good for me and will definitely keep me out of trouble and keep me mind occupied.

One good news, I have been waiting for the results of my tests and they came back negative, so no leukemia for me nor blood clotting for me. They had been monitoring me for six months and my latest tests had shown up various abnormalities in my blood. So today I am in the clear; even my cholesterol was normal. I guess working 16 hours a day lately has been good for me LOL... Just kidding.

Update

I haven't had the chance to write on my blog for a long time now and I just noticed yesterday as long it had been. I guess life has happened in so many ways. I have also noticed that I was still getting many visits, so I decided it was time to set time aside and continue writing.

Finally for the first time in my working career, I have found a job that I enjoy immensely... wonderful environment and an amazing boss who has been mentoring me and coaching me for the executive life. I cannot believe that I have there for close to nine months already and it has been quite a ride, exhilarating ... scary at time but what an elating ride. It was all worth it. I have grown immensely in the fact that now I know I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

Believing and trusting have always been a constant struggle in my life, but I think I am slowly getting there. I still need time though.

The past couples of weeks have been difficult for me. Something everything could be so much simpler with pills or alcohol but I stand here exposed to the world and grappling at an uncertain future. I hope that with time I can fill the void and the emptiness that has engulfed my soul.

But when all seems lost, something comes to save one's heart. The puppy that I am babysitting found a kitten around the corner of my front door and little Casey came into my life... quite unexpectly. The two adore each other and are inseparable, I am now worried on how they are going to react when Yogi will leave. I guess like everything else, Life goes on and no one dies.