The Way of An Artist

Now I know that I really need to go back to work when I spend a couple of hours watching music videos. I was reading an article about Amy Winehouse, a young British singer who had to cancel all her tour appearances due to her self-destructive lifestyle. The doctors worried about her mental state advised her to get help and I sincerely hope that she listens to them as she is a physical and emotional train wreck. Anyway I surfed though Yahoo Music to find out what she sounded like. To my surprise I discovered how much I was attracted to her sound and how refreshing her style was. Her voice is a cross between Billie Holliday and Sarah Vaughn. The beehive’s got to go though. But in a way I can understand why the persona as her sound is very much Motown 60’s with a 21st century twist. What really describes an artist? Is it passion, fire, talent, vision, emotion, or love? Or is it self-doubt, self-destruction, angst, pain, or sacrifice? What is the perfect formula? I guess it is all subjective.

Amy Winehouse's Video (cut & paste):
http://video.music.yahoo.com/up/music/music/?rn=1301797&vid=48184613&stationId=&curl=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.music.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2F%3Fm%3Dvideo%26p%3Damy%2Bwinehouse

The Spirit of Christmas

Christmas is approaching. The shopping frenzy is on. People are getting into the spirit. I look across the way and see all the lit Christmas trees along with the left-over Diwali outdoor lights. I must admit it is stunning to look at in the darkness. I have always loved the spirit of Christmas, not because of its religious connotation (let’s face it Jesus would have been born around April or May and not in December) but because of the joy it brings to so many people. Nothing is as beautiful as the crystalline laugh or shriek of a young child as they are opening their presents. Nothing is as splendid as the back of fingers brushing against a soft cheek or making angels in the snow on a cold December night. Well this is California, so the snow angels are out … LOL. I love the decorations, going to the stores and hearing the music loudly playing along as people are rushing by to nab the latest fashionable toy or capitalize on bargains. It adds a light bounce to my step and I feel happy. I really love to bring joy. I yearn for that smile, that shriek, the look of love in one’s eyes, and the smell of hot cocoa with cinnamon sticks.

I would like to buy so many things for my nephews this year and yet it doesn’t look like I will be able to do much this year due to my predicament, but hopefully I will find employment by then. I really hope soon before I go completely mad. I am not one to relax at home. I really try to find something to do, but I just cannot concentrate. I feel like a tiger in a cage and all I want to do is roar. Let’s face it, maybe If I was independently wealthy I could get into it and really indulge in my passions, but right now, returning to work is in the back of my mind and I just cannot chill out.

The spirit of Christmas is once again upon us yet I desire nothing for myself. Ok, maybe I would like to go visit those cute meerkats at the zoo, which remind me so much of the one at home.

Despair

I was talking to a friend today and she reminded me on how much she loved my jewelry designs and asked why I stopped. I really couldn’t tell her why, but I remembered a time when my passion was like opium and I couldn’t stop creating. I could breathe it, I craved it. It has been almost a year and I am still at a stand still. I look at the box where all my supplies sit and I cannot bring myself to create anything.

They say that every artist has a black period, but I never considered myself an artist, so why would it touch me? I sometimes feel like my creativity is gone and I want to hit the walls, scream my despair. I pace back and forth like a lunatic trying to get an idea, any idea in my head. I look at my photographs and I see the emptiness. Something has broken … another piece to add to the thousands of chards that make me damaged goods.



On a lighter note, I was looking for Sarah Vaughn's videos on You Tube and found Alicia Keys' new single. The resolution is much better on Yahoo Music though. Lovely song!

http://video.music.yahoo.com/up/music/music/?rn=1301797&vid=48605781&stationId=&curl=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.music.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2F%3Fm%3Dall%26p%3Dalicia%2Bkeys%2Bno%2Bone%26SpellState%3Dn-1117608080_q-cetQ.E7%2FtAmg8bK5KYxKFAAAAA%40%40

So Much Beauty in the World

Today was one of those days in which I needed to be in touch with my higher spirit, Nature. With my usual spontaneity I drove to the nearest National Park “Big Basin”, which is about a half hour from the house. I love redwood forests and I wanted to grab pictures of the waterfalls. As I was driving up the winding road, the fog became denser and upon arriving, I realized that that it was the smoke of a fire nearby. They had set a prescribed fire and to my disappointment I couldn’t get to the waterfall. It was cold and crisp and I was glad that I had a sweater on and a beanie on my head. An hour later I was peeling some of my clothes off as the hike had warmed my whole body.

I have come upon many animals during my treks, but seeing a mountain lion was a first. I became alarmed as there have been attacks before in other areas and started to turn back slowly. Thankfully it appeared that he was more afraid of me than I was of him. I think… LOL. I never felt my heart beating so fast and then it hit me that I didn’t take a picture. Well sometimes it is just not worth it.

The highlight of my day was a field of the most gorgeous horses I had ever seen. I had to turn around to go take pictures of them as I would have regretted it if I didn’t. As I started shooting, the most beautiful mare with the lightest blue eyes approached me and wanted me to pet her. I was so elated and humbled by such beauty. The more I petted her the more she wanted the affection. It lasted until another approached and they all left together so gracefully. So much beauty, there is so much beauty in the world.


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Hitchcock Classics

Yesterday I spent the afternoon watching Hitchcock classics. I had seen Vertigo many years ago and really enjoyed seeing it again. To my surprise I discovered that I had been taking pictures of the same scenery without even realizing it. Mission San Juan Bautista is one of my favorite spots but I never associated the church until I saw it yesterday. It was fascinating to see how little the area has changed. As I watched Kim Novak walking through the gardens it dawned on me that I had taken the same steps not too long ago - minus the jump from the bell tower of course... LOL
This gave me ideas for a new photographic project which I cannot wait to start. I would talk more about it as I start developing it. Next week will be devoted to job interviews. I have an exciting prospect in San Francisco. The company is an extremely progressive and dynamic enterprise that really emphasizes on a work/life balance. I really like that they devote part of their profit, equity and time to the community and value their employees. The benefits and perks not to mention the salary are incredible. I would have to travel by train for 45 minutes each way, but the rest really overshadows this minor discomfort. Today for the first time in a long time I really feel like the old me. I see the beauty around me again.

Thanksgiving

I have decided today that this will be the last thanksgiving that I will be celebrating either with friends or family. Next year, I will be helping in a soup kitchen and give my thanks for all I have and how blessed my life has been so far. I have realized that spending time with family and friends around a table can be done anytime and often, not only around a holiday. It also dawned on me how self- absorbed I have been and what a lousy mate, sister, friend and daughter I have been all those years.

Various myths have surrounded the Thanksgiving holiday. The pilgrims never held a yearly harvest feast nor was the day meant for such lavish table displays. Was there a turkey on the table on that first feast? Maybe … All pilgrims equated wild fowl to turkey. To those puritans, the meaning of thanks was originally a day for prayer and fasting that would be held at any time and such feast would not have been allowed.

The pilgrims did have such a feast in 1621 but it was to celebrate the end of harvest which followed the English harvest festivals, however it was not the beginning of a tradition nor did they repeat it. It was during the American Revolution that the Continental Congress suggested a day of national thanksgiving. Abraham Lincoln appointed a day in 1863 as the last Thursday of November to coincide with the Nov 21, 1621 anchoring of the Mayflower in Cape Cod. However, it was Franklin D. Roosevelt who in 1939 set the date for Thanksgiving to the fourth Thursday of November, which was approved by Congress in 1941.

Thanksgiving has different meanings for many cultures and frankly for many immigrants the holiday doesn’t mean anything as they still hold on to their own cultural celebrations. Some do share in the celebration and give it their own special ethnic twist. The Native Americans resent the holiday as they equate it to betrayal. Ironically the House of Representatives just passed legislation on Nov 13 designing the day after Thanksgiving a Native American Heritage Day to pay tribute to the Injuns' contribution to the United States. The Native American Heritage Day bill encourages Americans of all backgrounds to observe the Friday after Thanksgiving as Native American Heritage Day, through appropriate ceremonies and activities. What a load of crap!


Let’s face it, in my opinion for most Americans of every ethnic background today, Thanksgiving simply represent an excuse for family gathering, eating and wining, which could easily be done every Sunday. Does one takes a minute and really think of what it really means? There are so many people out there suffering and surviving. Wouldn’t the holiday be more pertinent if each of us took time out of their precious schedule and reached to those in need to make them feel truly loved?

Sunday

The fog was powerful this morning so I grabbed my camera in hopes to capture it. As I was driving the fog appeared to dissipate and my disappointment grew by the second. I turned toward the cemetery as I had always found inspiration in it. To my amazement the fog was still there and I managed to take a few unspectacular shots before it disappeared.

I have always had an affinity towards cemeteries and find no morbidity in them. I have no interest in Death, nor does it attracts me. But I love taking pictures of graveyards and the stories one can weave from them.

There is so much life in a cemetery and there is no better place to bird or squirrel watch. I delight in gazing at children playing and people walk their dogs. A cute cat napping on a tombstone with no care in the world or old people sitting lovingly on a bench brings the most tenderness out of me.

But what allures me the most is the art and architecture. One can find the most magnificent statues in cemeteries, however that type of art goes mainly unnoticed due to the stigma and taboo imposed by society.

My mother was a bit concerned when she first started seeing my photos, but finally managed to understand my point of view after I explained to her my motives. Maman is not on the verge of becoming a convert, but she is warming up to the idea. Maybe I will be able to drag her to the Pere Lachaise in Paris one of those days LOL.

I promised myself that I would make a point in visiting one cemetery in each place that I visit in the future may it be for pleasure of business. Mmmmm my list is growing longer every day. So many places, so little time! Oh well...

Beauty is everywhere, may it be in a cemetery, in the eyes of a child, a certain scar, a painting, a sunset, an old woman's smile, an animal or a mosque. One only has to open their eyes and their heart.

Beauty

beau·ty (byōō'tē) n. The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"... Kant confirmed this statement by asserting that beauty possesses both subjective and objective qualities. Objectivity sees beauty as a natural part of the subject while subjectivity sees beauty from one's own eyes.

To understand this statement, one is to ascertain that objective beauty can be the attributes of a flower or the features of a child.





Every being has their own sense of subjective beauty. While one finds beauty in the form the form of a skeletal supermodel, another finds it in a voluptuous older woman as I do.

Beauty brings me to tears may it be objective or subjective. Through the lens of my camera, I see it everywhere ... in anyone. I can feel its joy, happiness, color, darkness, pain, anger and despair so deeply.

Beaches

I was crawling out of my skin today. I couldn't stand the painful emotions coursing through my being. Therefore I just decided to embrace my solitude, grabbed my camera and drove to my favorite place ... the ocean.



I droved up the coast to take a closer look at the devastation and got caught in the fog. It was quite majestic and eerie at the same time. I did manage to capture one of the beaches and could not believe how dark the sand was. However, I was so relieved to find out that it was contained up North and didn't hit my favorite spot where my beloved seals took residence.







I looked at the beauty around me and it dawned on me at that moment that hope is the most powerful emotion of all.

Blogging

I have been wanting to blog for a while now. Of course as I am a novice I went around and checked out what was outthere. You know, getting my toes wet without taking a complete shower ... LOL. Everyone wants to put their point of view accross.

For the first time of my working career I am without a job. I had been going on automatic pilot for so long that I just couldn't fathom another day at that company. I feel so liberated. It is such an elating feeling, yet a bit scary as I finally have to develop an action plan and create a blue print for my future. That is a new concept for someone who has spent their life going down a river without a paddle, landing whereever the tide would bring them.

Anyway, there have been so many events that are really making my predicament so insignificant. I am still so upset about the events in Pakistan and the oil spill at my doorstep. I am so appalled by the disregard of freedom and life in general, may it be human or not. An uncessary mistake and thousands of animals have died.

Innocent little lives at the hand of man once again. What makes money, power, and greed more important than the life of a small bird or juvenile harbor seal? What makes people so desensitized that they would bring their dogs to the beach and let them fetch in oil slick water, then catch an attitude when they are told to leave the beach?


I am boiling about all of this today and then I find out that people are blogging about public toilets and it appears to be quite a popular topic. That one left me speechless. Of all the events happening to the world, people are blogging about the "loo" ... LOL. To set any joke aside, I am flabbergasted. Hey, I am for freedom of speech... but public toilets? Ok I guess anything goes!!!!